Movies That No-One Should See: “Alien: Resurrection”

This series of post is going to be a mirror to the set of posts marked “Movies I Think Everyone Should See”. This series will be showcasing the movies that I despise and that no-one should ever see in their life [in my opinion]. So, scroll down for the first!

‘Alien: Resurrection’ – 1994

AKA: The Movie That Should Not Have Been Made

This movie is one of the worst pieces of uninteresting sh*t that I have had the misfortune to sit through. I am incredibly serious when I say that this movie should not have even been written, let alone being actually made.

I barely tolerated Alien 3, and that was only because it returned to the same feelings portrayed in the original movie, where there is only one Alien and none of the characters have weapons. Good ol’ claustrophobic thriller/horror. But Alien: Resurrection bought the series to a very unsatisfying conclusion.

In keeping with the series, director Jean-Pierre Jeunet brought back veteran ‘Alien’ actress Sigourney Weaver to reprise her role as Ellen Ripley, but that is pretty much the only good part of this movie.  The special effects were slightly off-putting, the characters didn’t really have any discernible background, they were just “there”. Ripley’s character was almost completely changed from the caring and strong character from the first three to a complete bitch.

So the story in this one is that 200 years after Ripley killed herself in Alien 3, scientists have started to try and clone her to get the Alien Queen that was inside her at the time. So already the movie sounds terrible. So, after ignoring the fact that nothing is mentioned about where or how they got Ripley’s DNA after she was burned alive in molten iron, not much story is explained apart from the already overused plot of the Army wanting to use the Aliens as pet killing machines.

The Aliens break out by killing a weaker one by using it’s acidic blood to melt through the cell and then start killing everyone. Pretty standard Alien stuff. Then the already bad story gets worse after we find out that after being cloned in the same body Ripley has Alien traits and vice-verse. Ripley’s got acidic blood and a mental link to the Queen. The Queen has…a human womb. Yep.

The Queen gives birth to what I can only describe as stupid. A weird, bone coloured alien/human hybrid. With human skull features on it’s head and almost sporting genitalia. Then some more boring stuff happens and Winona Ryder ends up being a robot, and the aliens get sucked into space again.

I do not recommend this crap.


1 Response to “Movies That No-One Should See: “Alien: Resurrection””

  1. 1 H
    December 20, 2011 at 10:15 pm

    That just about sums it up lol 🙂

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